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This is my entry for the HarperCollins–IndiBlogger Get Published contest, which is run with inputs from Yashodhara Lal and HarperCollins India: The Flight Encounter

The Flight Encounter 


“You must be going for the admissions” I asked, sitting by the window seat of the Delhi bound flight. “Well, if you believe you can impress me by this simple psychology of yours, then please, it’s the admission time, and every Delhi bound student here has DU in mind” replied she. “Well, I can impress you by offering you my window seat, and I am damn sure, you would love that” I replied back. She was stunned. Looked at me for a second then questioned

“Which college are you from?” “Believe me, I am in School, Class XII, it has been two years now, I am there, studying, all alone” I replied. She smiled, and said, “And Delhi has made you confident enough to flirt with a girl senior to you?” “I would consider that if you agree to swap the seats, as I find you impatient enough to click the Mount Everest” I replied.

“You are a good observer, when did you notice my camera?” She questioned. “Well, honestly, I saw in while checking in and you asked for a seat on the right hand corner. Now clearly on the way to Delhi, Everest falls to the right and the zoom lens of yours confirmed my assumption” replied a wannabe Sherlock Holmes, me. “Now I am impressed.” She said, “By the way, I can see you are desperate enough to have a glimpse of the air hostess, and your urgency to swap the seat says it all” continued she. “So, you are a Humanities student, with Psychology” I questioned? “Oh My God! How did you guess that?” she shouted back. I smiled and replied, “Well, I am your junior in the subject, but with science background, and after studying Freud, it makes people observant, and I see that in you?” She smiled, and replied, “You are cute”

“So Guwahati has made you desperate enough to flirt with a junior?”, I replied. This time, she burst into laughter. Looked at my face for sometime then all of a sudden, “When are we swapping the seats, it’s already been 35 minutes since we took off, I need the pictures.” She exclaimed. I calmly replied, “I need the hot ladies out there, quick, take my seat.”

We swapped, there was some silence, and she started with her camera. I tried to gaze my look at the yellow suited air hostess. Somehow I could not concentrate my attention with my visual attention. I wanted to talk. But the ma’am beside me was busy with her camera. Time passed by and we landed. Before I got down, I said, “I am Avir, how do I remember you?” She smiled “Sukriti, let’s continue it up the rest in Facebook”

I was more than happy, I got off the flight, but I did not look back. May be I did not want to feel ‘wannabe’ this time.

This is my entry for the HarperCollins–IndiBlogger Get Published contest, which is run with inputs from Yashodhara Lal andHarperCollins India.

Comments

  1. Unknown25 November 2012 at 22:07

    Excellent attempt. I respect your guts to write on a bit different genre, not the usual themes taken up by new fiction writer.
    Now, talking about the areas that need revision, I'd say it's good to have a good vocab in a piece, but under no circumstances must you use formal language. I could sense that the narrating language was a bit stiff, not too conversational, but that's natural because you've not written anything of this kind before. So gotta be a bit quick off the blocks next time, OK?
    Next, the ending was superb with a thoughtful question, most writers can't think of a good finish, and that leaves the reader with a mixed feeling. So you already have it in you, and don't need to work too much on it. Humour too is important, and your piece is made highly readable with dollops of it.
    In all, a good try, but try to write more regularly. Let's hope your story bags the Big One!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Amlan25 November 2012 at 22:20

    Thanks for the honest remarks Arpit, and once again thanks for being a regular reader. You motivate a lot. I will surely try the changes in my next attempt.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown25 November 2012 at 23:33

    Nice!!! but did u really do this in a flight???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amlan25 November 2012 at 23:46

      Mr Mazumdar, somethings are better kept classified.

      Delete
  4. Unknown26 November 2012 at 21:34

    Hi, Amlan. That was good. However, I feel you can improve it further. Did they want love stories with a very short word limit for this competition?

    Yours
    Arundhati Baa

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nirvana29 November 2012 at 10:11

    Love your sense of humour ..... I do think there are fair chances to see it in print :-) ... all the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amlan2 December 2012 at 04:24

      Writing isn't all about getting published, Its about getting peace of mind at times. This was my first attempt writing fiction, mixed with emotions and I am happy how it turned out. Thanks for the read.

      Delete

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