When we are in a moment of deep distress or in very much
problem or is betrayed by luck, the very question that arises in our mind is, ‘Why Me?’ But we do fail to repeat the
same question with the opposite side of the same picture, i.e. when are lucky
enough sometimes. We never take the joy being what actually we are, but always
ready to grief for what we not. This particular boy, Naman Bhatia, who shares
the same flat with me, had a heated discussion with me on this topic on a sunny
December afternoon, and after this conversation I learned that, the most
emotionally stable persons are those, who take the Joy of being themselves. It is quite well known to us that the
number of occasion of joy is far more less than that fo grief, and if it’s the
vice versa than you may count yourself to be amongst the most gifted creatures
of the Planet. Anyway, as instances of grief outnumber instances of happiness,
therefore a single instance of joy becomes price less. You might have asked a
thousand times “Why Me?” in an
unlikely situation, and have cursed your luck, but if for a single time you ask
the same question when you are lucky, I bet all your pervious grief and sense
of unluckiness will wash away like a free falling water fall.
The most common yet ignored fact about ourselves that we all
know is that, we tend to compare ourselves with those who are far more
privileged than ours but not with those who are less. All of know this, and
this is common to everyone even to me. This is basic human instinct. It’s
actually very easy to write than to apply this fact. But when we are utterly
sad and depressed, if we by our own conscious tend to not compare ourselves with anyone, I can assure you all that you will feel
a lot lighter in your heart then what we might have felt if we had compared. Comparison is natural instinct, but you should try to avoid it as much as you can. This was
what actually Naman made me learn. And I
have been trying to apply that for the last one month and believe me this is a
very good to trick our mind. There is no offence in feeling sad when things
doesn’t turn around the we actually want them to, but if you let this affect
your life to such a extent that it hampers your other day to day activities,
and to even a slight extent others, then I guess this is a serious offence.
People say that sadness reduces if you share them, yeah I agree to it, but
sharing doesn’t mean that you have to make the third person involve so deep
with you until is voluntary by the person. Simple, well understood and well
ignored strategies like one mentioned above if applied can make life lot easier
to live even though not a happy enough.
What is common to the most successful persons in all of the professions other
than their passion? It is their love for
what they are. A successful singer is happy that he is singer, but not sad
about he failing in academics and is less educated than his classmates. But if
starts cursing him selves for not being good in academics and hates him selves,
then that would surely affect his singing capabilities. Let’s go into a general
classroom, what would be the opinion about a lame man if asked who will be
happiest of the whole class, well I guess 90% would say the topper of the
class, but the topper might be uneasy about the fact that the one another guy
of the class is a very good writer and he/she is not. So he/she will have a
uneasy feeling in mind. They will act jealous about other and hence there would
be class politics. People can be proud of being the topper but never be happy about
being it. The words ‘proud’ and ‘happy’ makes a hell lot of difference
in having peace of mind in an individual. A proud person is never content in
his life, which makes him vulnerable to the feeling of being lucky and unlucky,
but a happy person is quite content and is sure to achieve success more often.
What I actually wanted to convey via this whole dialog is
that, success and failure is part of life, but being successful and not is
totally luck. It depends to a large
extent to our perception of our own capabilities, to be more specific on the
self efficacy of a person. You will not always be successful, there would be
failure, that not your fault. But failing again and again might be your fault
most of the times. It’s obvious that it’s sad to fail and people tend to move
into a state of loss each time they fail. But to avoid being in depression and
in a constant phase of sadness, you must love yourself. A person can go thru
any emotional or situational problem if he enjoys being what actually he is and
do not curse himself for what he is not. Never put yourself in the boots of
person who is powerful than you, when in trouble, always try to think in the
way of what a less privileged or powerful person than you will do. Apply this
and I am sure a lot of complicacies from the life will perish. I have started
to apply this and I can see a change in me. ‘Believe in yourself’ is an old saying but its meaning is surely
everlasting.
Very well written bro.... I feel the whole writing is about contentment....!!! its true.... but again.. contentment differs from person to person.... one can be happy wit jst 2 square meal a day....but his son or daughter may not be... Specially in todays world when opportunities r many, its becoming really difficult to be content....Its a old theory many be excellent till the last decade.... But then again... diff ppl see it differently...But it still applies to a large section of assam...where in ppl r content(i mean a large section)... So not much world famous innovations r coming up from this part of the world....n a lots of things .....!!!!
ReplyDeleteBe it today or yesterday..lack of contentment is alright to a limit, but after a point of time it leads to jealousy and greed ant this is the point when we need to have faith in ourselves to lead a better life.
Deletea very positive perception towards life. Our life has become so mechanical and competitive that success,fame,honour all of these have become in a way very pertinent and we forget to enjoy the ecstasy that we attain from our success and regret more over the split milk.
ReplyDeleteGOOD WRITING. Keep the zeal of writing going...
Thanks a lot Wasim Da...
ReplyDeletebeautifully written, amlan. glad to have clicked through to this from a link in a facebook group, the real fiction. loved that way you have brought out the importance of contentment through your dialog. however, i did feel that the opinions got a little blurred at the start of the last paragraph. one of the things that i do from time to time is take up one of my older pieces and rework it till it really shines. loved your post, will go looking around the rest of your blog now.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot. I have tried to express out my feelings, but I am still amateur in writing. Please help me correct if I went wrong some where.
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