The Joy of being Yourself

When we are in a moment of deep distress or in very much problem or is betrayed by luck, the very question that arises in our mind is, ‘Why Me?’ But we do fail to repeat the same question with the opposite side of the same picture, i.e. when are lucky enough sometimes. We never take the joy being what actually we are, but always ready to grief for what we not. This particular boy, Naman Bhatia, who shares the same flat with me, had a heated discussion with me on this topic on a sunny December afternoon, and after this conversation I learned that, the most emotionally stable persons are those, who take the Joy of being themselves. It is quite well known to us that the number of occasion of joy is far more less than that fo grief, and if it’s the vice versa than you may count yourself to be amongst the most gifted creatures of the Planet. Anyway, as instances of grief outnumber instances of happiness, therefore a single instance of joy becomes price less. You might have asked a thousand times “Why Me?” in an unlikely situation, and have cursed your luck, but if for a single time you ask the same question when you are lucky, I bet all your pervious grief and sense of unluckiness will wash away like a free falling water fall.

The most common yet ignored fact about ourselves that we all know is that, we tend to compare ourselves with those who are far more privileged than ours but not with those who are less. All of know this, and this is common to everyone even to me. This is basic human instinct. It’s actually very easy to write than to apply this fact. But when we are utterly sad and depressed, if we by our own conscious tend to not compare ourselves with anyone, I can assure you all that you will feel a lot lighter in your heart then what we might have felt if we had compared. Comparison is natural instinct, but you should try to avoid it as much as you can.  This was what actually Naman made me learn.  And I have been trying to apply that for the last one month and believe me this is a very good to trick our mind. There is no offence in feeling sad when things doesn’t turn around the we actually want them to, but if you let this affect your life to such a extent that it hampers your other day to day activities, and to even a slight extent others, then I guess this is a serious offence. People say that sadness reduces if you share them, yeah I agree to it, but sharing doesn’t mean that you have to make the third person involve so deep with you until is voluntary by the person. Simple, well understood and well ignored strategies like one mentioned above if applied can make life lot easier to live even though not a happy enough.

What is common to the most successful persons in all of the professions other than their passion? It is their love for what they are. A successful singer is happy that he is singer, but not sad about he failing in academics and is less educated than his classmates. But if starts cursing him selves for not being good in academics and hates him selves, then that would surely affect his singing capabilities. Let’s go into a general classroom, what would be the opinion about a lame man if asked who will be happiest of the whole class, well I guess 90% would say the topper of the class, but the topper might be uneasy about the fact that the one another guy of the class is a very good writer and he/she is not. So he/she will have a uneasy feeling in mind. They will act jealous about other and hence there would be class politics. People can be proud of being the topper but never be happy about being it. The words ‘proud’ and ‘happy’ makes a hell lot of difference in having peace of mind in an individual. A proud person is never content in his life, which makes him vulnerable to the feeling of being lucky and unlucky, but a happy person is quite content and is sure to achieve success more often.

What I actually wanted to convey via this whole dialog is that, success and failure is part of life, but being successful and not is totally luck.  It depends to a large extent to our perception of our own capabilities, to be more specific on the self efficacy of a person. You will not always be successful, there would be failure, that not your fault. But failing again and again might be your fault most of the times. It’s obvious that it’s sad to fail and people tend to move into a state of loss each time they fail. But to avoid being in depression and in a constant phase of sadness, you must love yourself. A person can go thru any emotional or situational problem if he enjoys being what actually he is and do not curse himself for what he is not. Never put yourself in the boots of person who is powerful than you, when in trouble, always try to think in the way of what a less privileged or powerful person than you will do. Apply this and I am sure a lot of complicacies from the life will perish. I have started to apply this and I can see a change in me. ‘Believe in yourself’ is an old saying but its meaning is surely everlasting.